Vouching
for a conflict resolution strategy is like endorsing a means of traveling to
one. For instance, if you are roving on a scenic road on a day that is sunny,
then a motorbike ride can be fantastic as opposed to if you are covering a long
distance at night, in a weather that is particularly bad. Strategy is a
consequence of myriad factors such as your target goals, the restrictions you
will meet, diverse contextual factors among many others.
Even
though strategy forming is a product of so many subjective parameters, we still
have a few foremost parameters that one might contemplate employing in most
cases.
In the
present column, I would like to catalog these principal conflict resolutionstrategies.
Communication
The
number of times you should shun the instigation of communication with the other
party is very restricted. In the improbable event that the other party is a
terrorist, communicating directly to them might be seen as an act of
legitimizing them as a negotiation partner, but in all other circumstances
communication is justly taken as the most effortless and efficient tool for
solving problems.
Regrettably,
the first thing that conflicting parties drop when a conflict explodes is the
inclination, along with the capacity, to communicate. If and when they do
communicate, it is likely to be in a manner that is not constructive.
The
ability to communicate effectively, just like mathematical abilities, is not
something that one just obtains instantaneously. Consequently if you find
yourself mired in a conflict and you realize that your communication skills are
deficient, enlist a good conflict advisor to assist you cope with the conflict.
I would advise that you should not begin enhancing your communication skills while
in the middle of managing a crisis-one challenge, which is managing the
conflict in the most supreme way possible, is sufficient.
If you think your communication skill is excellent
thwart your inner voice that restricts you from communicating with the other
person. Train your eyes on your targets and begin communication with the other
party that will enable you achieve these objectives. Indeed, the other
person(s) might snub your advances to communicate, but you might be flummoxed
by the number of cases that you might succeed, and if you will be rejected,
then you will take solace in the fact that you at least tried.
Letting the other side know you have a
‘gun’
That is a
complex issue-how do you permit the other side to know that you have
alternatives different from the current one without being deemed as making
threats? The precincts of each negotiation are marked by each party’s alternatives.
If one side has the ability to exploit its utilities by using the alternative
it has, it will go ahead and employ it. Thus, the method to gently sway the
other party to try and conjointly work out a solution is by allowing it to
realize that it might be comfortable desisting from using its own alternative,
hence yours.
To get to
know more about the gentle areas of employing ‘guns’ before and during
negotiations, please read my book, ‘Negotiation
Tactics-Levers, Guns and Sanctions’.
Appointing yourself the devil’s advocate
One of my
most beloved conflict resolution strategies happens to be this one because we
amazingly become blind so fast during a conflict. We become so occupied with
our own perceptions, motivations, justifications and any other components that
build the story we tell ourselves (the story which enables us to explain why we
are on the right while the other side is on the wrong) to the point that we
become blind to any other standpoint but our own. We will zealously uphold this
viewpoint like our very lives hinge on it and catastrophically get ourselves, a
lot of times, into pointless tumult.
This is
the devil’s advocate-that person that was appointed to contradict your own
standpoint- helpfully comes in. Being forced with a contradictory point of view
will oblige you to question yourself why you are having this standpoint and
more essentially, if this viewpoint is serving your greater good.
Any
person can slot into the role of the devil’s advocate as long as they recognize
that they ought to battle the innate penchant to back your point of view. When
confronted with a differing standpoint, do not attempt to expound why you might
be right but rather let yourself mull over your view point in light of the
contrasting viewpoint.
Moving your constituency aside
Among the
characteristics of a conflict is that the longer it plays out, the more the
number of people involved swells. The number of those who support you grows, as
well as spectators-constituency-those people who observe the conflict from the
‘fence’. The potential for irrational decisions from you increases when more
people watch the conflict because this triggers your ego. For this reason, move
aside your constituency, attempt and make the process of dealing with your
conflict as reticent as possible so as to allow you to act in a fashion that
best serves your interests instead of just offering a spectacle to your
constituency.
Get trained
Our lives
are entrenched with many conflicts. A lot of them are relatively minor
entailing our family members, a colleague at work, and sometimes our friends.
But because they are so recurrent, getting conflict handling skills or conflict
resolution strategies will remarkably enrich your life for the better. Just
think of how much energy, time you will save and how your relationships and
even career will gain should enhance your conflict solving abilities just by a
measly 10%.
When, and
this occurs sporadically, you meet a bigger conflict, you might have to confer
an expert but it is possible to efficaciously manage the vast majority of your
daily conflicts. Therefore, a training of this sort will pay itself 100 fold.
The list
that I have offered herein is incomplete. When handling people, there are
various ways to behave-many conflict resolution strategies that one can
espouse. View the points offered in this post as the stepping stones to vitally
essential life skills abilities-getting successful conflict resolution
strategies.
